"We camouflage our true being before others to protect ourselves against criticism or rejection.  This protection comes at a steep price.  When we are not truly known by the other people in our lives, we are misunderstood.  When we are misunderstood, especially by family and friends, we join the "lonely crowd."  Worse, when we succeed in hiding our being from others, we tend to lose touch with our real selves.  This loss of self contributes to illness in its myriad forms. "


Posts tagged with 'friendship'

Handouts & questionnaires for general relationships (second post)

9th November 2009

A few days ago, I posted on "Handouts & questionnaires for general relationships (first post)" where I particularly discussed ways of assessing personal social networks. Here are further information sheets on other aspects of relationships - for example, I also regularly assess interpersonal style. Usually I'll use one of the …

Handouts & questionnaires for general relationships (first post)

2nd November 2009

Relationships are right at the heart of human health and wellbeing. The first three sets of handouts listed below highlight the increased death rates, poorer psychological health and lowered wellbeing in those with worse relationships. There is a rather confusing plethora of different questionnaires for assessing relationship networks. I like …

Assessing attachment in adults

18th October 2009

I'm a doctor and psychotherapist who's interested in using attachment ideas to improve how helpful I can be for clients. Awareness of attachment issues informs therapy, it doesn't dictate it. An obvious question is whether it's sometimes worth assessing attachment in a "formal" way. I'm no expert in this area. …

Recent research: six studies on positive psychology, goals, relationships, caregiving, mindfulness & nature

27th August 2009

Here are half a dozen studies that one could loosely put under the broad umbrella of positive psychology. Zorba the Greek said "Take what you want and pay for it, says God." and Niemiec et al's study, on the effects of achieving different kinds of goal, supports this statement (for …

Social integration and a midsummer potluck lunch

21st June 2009

We have fifty to sixty people due for lunch today. I better not hang around writing blog postings for too long. There's still lots of preparation work to do. It's great. I love these midsummer potluck lunches that we've been hosting for many years now. It's such fun to invite …

Peer groups: Cumbria spring group - initial thoughts

7th May 2009

It's the first morning of this year's "Mixed Group" in Cumbria. I wrote about this group in some detail when we last met up almost exactly a year ago. Lying in bed a little earlier on, I thought over why I'm here. I should be reasonably clear about this by …

Holiday, friendship and “meditation retreat” (eleventh post)

31st March 2009

This is the eleventh and final post about the Moroccan trip - a reflection once I was back in Scotland. So it's before breakfast on Tuesday morning in Edinburgh. We got back about 36 hours ago. I'm now mostly into the swing of "normal, everyday life" again. 150 plus emails, …

Holiday, friendship and “meditation retreat” (tenth post)

28th March 2009

A brief tenth post - back in Marrakech and reflecting on the trip. Back in the city - so woken by the Marrakech muezzin long before 5.00am. Lying in the dark and then coming downstairs to read and write. Yesterday we started in Hotel Irocha a bit north of Ourzazate. …

Holiday, friendship and “meditation retreat” (ninth post)

27th March 2009

Here's a ninth Moroccan post - coming out of the desert - dancing, cold beer, mindfulness & consciousness Here in the civilisation of Hotel Irocha, I woke early and then got up with the first tentative muezzin call from the local village. It's now a bit before 5.00am. I've been …

Holiday, friendship and “meditation retreat” (eighth post)

26th March 2009

Eighth Moroccan post - last night in the desert. Last breakfast here in the desert - this one at an encampment at Erg Cheggaga. We arrived last night after one of our longest day's walks (they haven't been very long). I've not been wearing a watch since the first afternoon …